There’s a good chance you’ve heard friends speak wonders about party card games like Apples to
Apples, and they eventually sat you down to play some rounds. Funny game, right? I mean, seriously –
what’s more hilarious than someone playing the “my life” card with a descriptor card like “disaster”?
Well forget everything you know, because the creators of Cards Against Humanity have ensured that
being utterly disgusted at yourself and everyone around you is much more entertaining. Sure, tame
scenarios like describing “Hooligans” as “Unscrupulous” are satisfying (maybe), but why play it safe
when you can say old people smell like “half-assed foreplay” instead?
Kickstarted with a love for fun and hatred for humanity, the basic premise is simple: After everyone
draws ten white cards, the designated Card Czar draws a black card with a
particularly witty statement. Other players then fill in the blanks with phrases on white cards, choosing
the most possibly hilarious or outrageously disgusting card from their hand. As a result, brilliant setup
expressions evolve (or devolve) into the most potentially pernicious word pairings in the universe.
Here’s an example: “Everyone down on the ground! We don’t want to hurt anyone. We’re just here for:
two midgets shitting in a bucket.”
The person whose white card completion manages to get everyone else to collectively crap their pants
from laughing out loud, while also convincing the Card Czar it was worth it, becomes the next Card Czar. Points are collected (if you want) based on whoever holds the most black cards, and you basically continue until everyone passes out from laughter or personal disgust.
Aside from the basics, there’s also a list of house rules including hot categories of play like “Happy
Ending,” “Rebooting the Universe,” “Packing Heat,” “Rando Cardrissian,” “God is Dead,” and more. And
aside from black cards with a single blank statement, cards with two blank statements ensure you’ll
have twice as many terrible outcomes. To top everything off, there are two expansion packs available,
and even a slot on the website for players to recommend their own (hopefully) witty cards. If you can’t
purchase the game right away, there’s a printable PDF version available; this is also a great way to
create your own cards instantly.
The best part about Cards Against Humanity isn’t even how morally wrong it seems, but just how well
cards with offensive scenarios work with tamer subjects. Heck, even seemingly innocents statements
like “I drink to forget: the Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System” could have deeper meaning. And with
the aforementioned ability to create your own cards, the possibilities are absolutely endless.
Cards Against Humanity excels at making you laugh and cry at the same time, because even you won’t
believe how terrible (and hilarious) you really are. I’m probably the tamest member of the entire Press
Pause Radio group, but somehow forged some of the most toxic expressions during the entire game.
Honestly, I’m still not sure if I should be proud of myself or arrested for disorderly conduct.
If you’re someone who describes themselves as “easily offended,” there’s a good chance Cards Against
Humanity is not for you. But for the rest of us who know it’s quite literally for shits and giggles, good luck
finding a better party game.
Five out of Five Hadokens